I WON'T COME BACK TEACHING SUPER-DUPER HARD like I always have!!!
Y'all! I am so ready to get back to the studio and around all my peeps! Wednesday at 1pm I head to the doctor and get my cast.
Anyone who knows me, knows that it is definitely best I have a good hard cast on this leg before I'm set free in the studio with my new 4-wheeling scooter (thank you to my aunt, "Marry Kate"). Having already tried the no-hands, one-legged soar across the room, (picture sunbird pose but on only one leg and wheels). I didn't pull it off. It needs some practice. I’m pretty sure that last sentence is where I seem to steer off track. (Maybe I should just get dropped off at the studio with crutches sans scooter.)
I am looking forward to teaching my classes again and seeing my peeps. I am looking forward to diving back into the teacher training
( *YTT PLUG: Fall session starts 9/15, pay your $200 deposit to begin your free unlimited yoga membership)
I say I'm coming back to teach this Thursday. Of course, especially with the 5:30p class, its been a pattern of “I’m back…oops, not really,…..I’m back…..well, maybe not yet,…..I’m back). However, my mental and physical stamina are back. I feel strong inside and out. My body, for all of its injuries is stronger than ever. HOWEVER…
Out of respect for Beth and my husband ("my decider-ers”), I'm learning to trust them and do as I'm told..as much as I can. These are two peeps in my life who have borne the brunt of my duties and responsibilities for almost an entire year now.
And here’s the thing…
When I’m gone from teaching for awhile, say even a week for vacation, I am a little nervous that first class back. Since my wreck, coming back to teaching…it scared me. I wasn’t ready, physically or mentally. But I push, and I push, because I have to wear that badge of honor that says, look at how strong I am! Well, that now feels like a dunce hat because I see that when I come back after begin away from my classes, I fall on what’s rote.
I teach how I was taught when I worked with my two main teachers. These teachers were tough, strict, demanding, trained by the best of the best, and held very high expectations of their students. I sought out this type of teacher and I am honored to have had the chance to study with both of these women. I am grateful for the experiences of those trainings as they have been monumental in my moving forward.
AND, my body was also much younger when I was studying under them. It’s time I lean more into the compassionate side of my training. Thank you Kripalu. I have GOT to learn to stop pushing so hard all the time. That is the lesson screaming at me from all sides. It hasn’t been the only one; I’m just ready to look at it. Seeing it from a different perspective, I see I have some work to do.
My work has a theme no matter the layer of the onion. Simplifying; letting go to create the space to literally breathe comfortably. I consistently make choices that result in making things more complicated than they need to be. I’m learning to follow some of the best advice I’ve never listened to until recently. My friend Camie always says, “Girl, you gotta stay in your own lane.”
Sutra Sundays, (*another plug….Sundays at 10:30a taught by Beth and I), have been focusing on the yama brahmacharya and we are practicing noticing areas of excess and non-excess in our poses, in our breathing, in all areas of our lives. The areas that are full of excess, we can choose to clear out. I remind my student-teachers in YTT to teach from personal experience. My therapist reminds me we practice what we most need to learn ourselves. I’m listening.